Two Cheshire Cats in the Yard
by OnceTwiceTimeThing
Summary: Companion piece and disambiguation of 'Somewhere That's Gray," which is an AU drabble I pumped out last month. I hate to be that guy, but I'd really recommend reading it before you read this. Link in the description.


**Characters: Jonathan Crane, Jervis Tetch**

**Pairings: N/A**

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Summary: The Mad Hatter and The Scarecrow meet for the first time. **

**Warnings: Language, Mild Violence**

**Who likes taking on multiple projects at once? I DO. I was originally gonna make this into a long, single chaptered story made up of little vignettes like this, but I have twenty-four of them outlined and that would take too much time to finish, IMO. Besides, I haven't graced this site since before Christmas, I should post when I can. That said, I've been writing the chapters all out of order so it may be a while to the next one. With that said, here [s/9900188/1/Somewhere-That-s-Gray] is 'Somewhere That's Gray.' While we're promoing, askthosepedanticlunatics is the tumblr URL that will lead you to a shitty Hat/Crow askblog that I totally did not mount this week. You should go ask them things. This will help to explain why I haven't been very good about updating 'Madder, Maddest' lately. In case you were wondering, yes this is actually all I do. This is what I do. I write Batman fanfiction. That's all. [crickets] **

**Anyways, I know this "Here's a love story! Okay well here are the main characters and OOPS! they hate each other on first sight oh no what's going to happen to them lol who knows" trope is completely annoying and trite, but it's my stupid fanfic and I'll stupid do what I stupid want. We'll just call Dr. Crane Mr. Darcy from here on**.

**xxxx**

_"Auhg!_ Watch it, can't you!?"

Jonathan took a few jaunty steps back and put his hands up defensively at the order. Between his sudden collision and the way sound was bouncing around the alleyway, The Scarecrow was highly disoriented, but in the spaces between his fingers, he could still see what had caused him to start so.

And God, would you just look at him too. What an _outstanding _piece of work.

Jonathan took a confrontational step forward, hissing lividly. "Why don't _you_ watch it, if your personal space is so important?"

The man before him was blond, short, glaring, and ruffled. He watched as the dandified crook straightened his ridiculous hat and bowtie, brushing imaginary dust from the lapels of his overcoat.

Oh Hell. It had to be that new Hatter fellow he'd been hearing about. Jonathan hated upstarts like this.

He watched with a frown as the annoying little wonder looked about the ground and let out another irate huff.

"Now see what you've done!" he exclaimed, dropping down to gather what looked like a scattered deck of cards, unfortunately ruined by the puddles of rain water below. He mumbled a series of posh sounding obscenities.

"What _I've_ done?" his senior echoed, temper boiling. "You're the one who ran headlong into _me_. A word of advice: if you aren't accustomed to the dark, you should think twice before _sprinting_ through it!" He stamped on one of the cards for emphasis, surprised at the awful crunching sound it made. It was like crushing a bug, most unpleasant, but it was worth living through, for the _road hog's_ reaction was twice as horrible as he had hoped it would be.

_"No!"_

The little man tried vainly to tear Crane's foot away by the ankle, only to receive a messy kick in the forearm. He let out a surprised and frustrated yelp, recoiling and swatting his ruined card away. "That was a very delicate piece of equipment, you ogre!"

He examined both his retrieved creation and his wrist for damage, finding one irreparably mutilated and the other barely bruised. He looked back up at Jonathan furiously. "Do you have any idea how much time and money and effort went into building this!?" He held the offending object up for emphasis, and Professor Crane was suddenly made aware of a charred electrical smell which he could only assume was a product of his malice.

Well, good. Damn good. The whole batch of them could fry for all he cared. In fact, he might have stuck around to continue his efforts and taunt this _nouveau riche_ rogue until he learned his lesson, but the faint sound of police sirens in the distance was drawing nearer all the time, reminding him of where he was and what he was doing. This little bastard wasn't worth it.

"I don't have time for this," he said, raspy, and started to walk past.

With another incensed grunt, The maddened Hatter lashed out at his other ankle, causing him to stumble. Neatly avoiding collapse, the straw man spun around sharply and with as much grace as he could manage. Fury smoldering on his face, and even though most of it was obscured by burlap, he knew _Carroll_ here got the point.

_"Don't you __**dare **__touch me." _

If he'd had any toxin left, this vexatious little fucker would have already gotten a perfect facefull, but The Scarecrow was tapped out, and the nuisance would never know his own luck. Instead, he pushed his heel into the other man's extended hand and ground it into the pavement, delighted at his cry of pain. Hopping backwards, he watched in dark amusement as the man below babied his injured digits with angry tears bubbling in his eyes. He glared up and grit his teeth in pure contempt, watching as his tormentor stepped backwards.

"You'd best be on your way," the lanky man called back with a jeer, turning around to run. "The police have been dispatched."

The Scarecrow disappeared into the night.


End file.
